November is a mixed blessings month. On one hand it it the birth month of three of my children. It is also the anniversary month of my marriage. Thanksgiving falls in November, at least for Americans, which accounts for half my family.
It also marks the anniversary death of my youngest child, Maggie. She was born on November 1st, 2005 and only lived for an hour or so. She would have been 11 years old today.
In many ways her life and death made a big impact on our family. I think it helped me see how precious life is and how you cannot take for granted even one day. It helped strengthen my marriage to my wonderful aspie husband Les. And I think it changed my parenting style to one that didn't sweat the small stuff anymore.
So I've been wanting to start a blog about being married to an aspie - Aspergers, a form of autism. I decided to tailor my name after one of my favorite books The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. And I'm considering using some of her style in my writing, jumping around in years to tell the story.
So let's start, with a sort of beginning.....
I met Les when I was in high school, 10th grade. Officially that is. I actually knew who he was for at least a year prior, though he had no idea of my existence. We attended the same Junior high. he was a year older than me. When I was in 9th grade I used to see this guy sitting with a girl on the carpeted bleacher stairs of Oceanview Junior High's center court. He was the spitting image of Luke Skywalker: Star Wars had just come out that year. I admired him from afar thinking "if only I could find a boyfriend as sweet as he looks". Little did I know.....
We officially met at Glenda Lorie's a little Ice Cream parlor near the Senior high School, Max Cameron. By then, Les was in 11th grade and I was in 10th and had gone over to the high school with my friends Jocelyn and Debbie to meet up with Jocelyn's older sister, Louise. She was at the ice cream shop with her friend Cathy and three boys - Les, Pete and Ken. We all crowded into the same booth and I found myself looking across the table at "Luke".
When Les tells the story he'll say that when he looked across the table at me he knew right away I was someone he wanted to be with. He said he saw an innocence in me as well as a no frills type girl. One that looked like she wouldn't cause too much drama. I of course saw "Luke" and was in love at first sight with his blue/green eyes and long blonde hair.
He doesn't remember but I know a story about how a few weeks later, Pete and Les were waiting for me, Jocelyn and Debbie to meet them to go to a party together. Pete suggested flipping a coin to see who would ask me out. Les won the coin toss. So when we crowded into Ken's small car I found myself sitting on Les's lap. That was the beginning of our relationship. It was February 14th 1979.